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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24090859">I can see Pinocchio and he's telling the truth</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sleeping_Regn/pseuds/Sleeping_Regn'>Sleeping_Regn</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>South Park</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>"Funny", Alternate Universe - Never Met, Chaos, Disneyland, Enchanting topics, F/F, I shall never write again, Is this crack?, Kenny as Elsa, Kyle in tight pants, Low quality content, M/M, Me stabbing Mickey Mouse, Stan as Goofy, Very drafty</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 22:33:46</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,389</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24090859</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sleeping_Regn/pseuds/Sleeping_Regn</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>It's a crude world behind Disneyland sparkles.</p><p>Elsa gives the tips to a new Peter Pan and wants to kick Anna's ass. While Cinderella either make out with her prince or fight with Snow White. But there is also a gang of Mickey Mouse.<br/>A deal of pixie dust and too many sexual innuendos for a kid park is happening too.</p><p>And there is a creepy Goofy that shows up when Kyle expects him less.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hints and flirts, It's only chaos</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>I can see Pinocchio and he's telling the truth</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I wish I was drunk to have an excuse for this</p><p>This is total crap but apparently heartof_paper will stab me if I don't post it.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Do you think they know how many cameras there are?”<br/>
Kyle checked behind his shoulder the distant lively path, he quickly settled back on a bench behind the bushes.</p><p>“Believe me, if they knew they wouldn’t make out that much in the Caribbean's boats. Plus one guy stuck his dick out at the castle once.”</p><p>“What? <em>The</em> Sleeping Beauty castle?”</p><p>The sandy blond nodded with a pensive look at the trashcan next to them.<br/>
“Yeah, the dude just got it out. They quickly kicked him out.”</p><p>The redhead closed his mouth; he still managed to reach out for the green tea can Kenny took out from his bra.<br/>
“That’s not the kind of stuff I would have expected at Disneyland.”</p><p>“Did you ever go to the haunted house?” His colleague inquired with a sick grin.</p><p>Kyle frowned and thought it was better to take a gulp now.<br/>
“I think I went once or twice as a kid.”</p><p>“People scatter ashes in it.”</p><p>He glanced at him with an apprehensive grimace.<br/>
“Bullshit.”</p><p>“I’m serious,” Kenny insisted, crossing a leg over his other after he moved his light blue dress out of the way, “especially around Halloween. They try to check bags and stuff at the entry.”</p><p>“Why would they do that?” He argued taking his ice cream out.</p><p>“Some people tries to grope Minnie.”</p><p>“Did you?”</p><p>“I’m more into Donald,” he replied and chuckled as Kyle scoffed with a smile.</p><p>Tasting his ice-cream, the redhead squirmed on his seat before passing a hand at the back of his pants with a glare. He had barely lift it away from his skin that it snapped back on his sweaty back.<br/>
“I fucking hate this place. What kind of sick people would want to come back to Disneyland?”</p><p>“Kids,” Kenny easily settled and thoroughly went to suck his own sweet. At least it fitted with Elsa aesthetic.</p><p>Kyle was pretty sure someone would tell him that Peter Pan <em>can’t</em> eat fucking ice cream; it's only the start of the summer but he was ready to dive into any water attraction.<br/>
“You just bring them once every five years,” he argued. “My family only went to Disneyland because my dad just likes weird stuff.”</p><p>“What stuff?”</p><p>“I think he has a dolphin kink.”<br/>
Kenny shot him a disgusted look before fake-gagging.<br/>
“I know. He was the only one happy to go to Disneyland. Even my brother at 10 years old couldn’t care less. This place is sick.”</p><p>“And yet you are here, dressed as Peter Pan.”</p><p>“Shut up,” Kyle glared. “How the fuck was I supposed to know they would take my application seriously?”<br/>
Or even that he had no other job for the summer beside <em>that</em>.</p><p>“I think they either wanted your hair,” his colleague pointed out before his smile teased into one of his dirty yet charming smirk - most of the time to that blond makeup artist, Leo. “Or <em>that ass</em> in those tight pants. I would hire you just for that.”</p><p>“Just-” he had to grimace in his hand; his mortification heated him up but he was also disgusted by the thought. “God, I hate you, Kenny.”</p><p>“Without me you would have been dead by your first hour,” Kenny laughed and draped his arm over his shoulder. “I’m an idol here. That’s why I’m Elsa. I’m a motherfucking <em>queen</em>.”</p><p>Kyle offered a dry laugh and returned to his ice-cream.<br/>
It does have been helpful to have met Kenny on his first day here - he had only accepted the job to get more experiences and to see the sick truth behind the place, though now with the heat and his stiff cheeks he thoroughly regretted it.</p><p>It has been one week and he already wanted to ditch. Probably would have if Kenny and his friends didn’t show him the tips to survive.<br/>
Kenny has been Elsa for two summers already. He is the one who showed him the places where to eat and who to ignore or avoid.<br/>
The main Jasmine was apparently the biggest bitch ever - Kenny's words. And if Kyle didn't want to be sucked into a cult he has to stay away from Mickey and his squad.<br/>
Once he had met Cartman, one of the Mickey, he already knew that he shouldn't speak with any of the Mickeys.</p><p>Snow White always tries to fuck with other princesses’ dress behind their back, which made one of the Cinderellas to throw her bag at her; Bebe is one of the most experienced here with Kenny. She was quick on her feet and overall nice - except for her comments about his ass.<br/>
Kyle was really glad to be out of the Princesses’ league. He already had to deal with Mickey’s gang telling him to get out of here with his slutty ass.<br/>
He didn't want to be in the middle of Cinderella and Jasmine fight.</p><p>It wasn't enchanting in the staff rooms.<br/>
Even if one of the Alice deals 'pixie dust'.</p><p>Craig - or prince Eric from The Little Mermaid, apparently the only character that made him fit around because he doesn't have to talk or sing. Ariel, or Red, only has to remind him to smile for the cameras. The guy showed Kyle the safe spots from the cameras; because that’s where he goes to ‘spend time’ with Tweek when they have a break.<br/>
Kenny told their weird flirt started a bit before Kyle had started, Tweek had gotten into a fight with one of the Mickey who spilled his coffee.</p><p>There has been an incident where two kids saw them kissing—from their words, it was <em>very chaste </em>but no one believes it. So the blond was moved to another area.<br/>
Kyle had quickly got along with Tweek. Unlike Craig who has only two sentences for social interactions; the blond quickly told him the weird stuff happening here and what places to avoid.<br/>
They both already texted on their first day to bitch about Disneyland. Tweek is impressive to deal with all of these with his high anxiety, but apparently the job is just an act he had learnt.</p><p>Kyle was freshly new so he was still not totally aware of who is friend with who. He had to witness Cinderella making out with her prince, a proper introduction to Wendy; he would have never known she was a girl.<br/>
There was also other good guys from other areas that he hadn't cross path with yet.</p><p>Peter Pan wasn't a big popular character so he is lucky. He had to mostly wander around his area.<br/>
It’s just awful to have to smile and get photographed so many times; one kid didn’t want to let go, holding on his neck, and Kyle was scared that he would have to swat him off.<br/>
Annie - his main Tinker Bell doesn’t always come around because there is this whole fairy area. It was always better when she shows up, she was far more soft and at ease with people and all.</p><p>Kyle would probably get fired for punching someone.<br/>
He had been almost molested more than three times by drunks - who sells alcohol in a kid park? And some people were just straight rude and deserve to eat shit.</p><p>“Oh shit, break over,” Kenny exclaimed straightening. “Anna is going to bite my ass if I’m late.”</p><p>“Which Anna?” He inquired over his can.</p><p>“The one friend with Daisy. She thinks she is above us and it’s annoying,” he explained with a scoff. “Bebe and I are going to put smelly stuff in her locker tomorrow.”</p><p>“Can’t you get repor- <em>Fuck</em>!” Kyle jumped on his seat, grabbing his heart when he realized there was a Goofy standing behind Kenny not far from their bench. “Fucking— crap.”</p><p>“Sorry,” Goofy articulated behind his creepy head.<br/>
Kenny stifled a laugh before he cracked when Goofy turned at him to stare.<br/>
“Fuck you, Kenny. Give me the ice-cream I have my break.”</p><p>“Stan, I swear we have to steal that costum, it fits you like a glove,” the man dressed as Elsa stifled but still chuckled until he was almost pushed out the bench.</p><p>"Don't you think you will get away with that shit!" His friend exclaimed, snatching his ice cream aggressively while Kenny retrieved his breath.</p><p>Kyle didn't know much about Stan.<br/>
He didn't even see his fucking face; the man lost a bet with Craig and so far this has caused Stan to be Goofy.<br/>
Rumors says that Stan is a good guy, helpful and funny but for now he was creeped out.</p><p>Nobody was ready to turn around and realize there is Goofy behind him caring a pen. For a first contact, Kyle almost pissed himself - he really didn’t like the mascots that close and getting called by one in a desert corridor was traumatic.<br/>
Stan is nice. But that didn’t mean he could hang around a creepy Goofy.</p><p>That didn’t mean he would walk out his hiding spot to not share the same bench as him; but there was better situation in life.</p><p>“What the fuck?! Elsa! Move your fat ass!” Someone exclaimed before Anna strolled in front of Kenny.</p><p>“Fuck off,” he growled but still stood up with a flutter of his braid.</p><p>“I don’t want to work with you either but that doesn’t mean I will let you be late,” she retorted with a shrilling voice and a push on his shoulder to get him toward the main path.</p><p>“Bye Kenny,” Kyle told. The sandy blond turned to wink and addressed two salute fingers as Anna turned to glare at the redhead.<br/>
“What’s her fucking problem?”</p><p>“Princesses are bitches,” Stan explained. The redhead turned to look at him when he realized he could his hear his voice properly. It was more silvery than he thought.<br/>
Goofy had his huge head half-hanging over his nose, not one inch further showed. Each patch of skin shined with sweat and were sickeningly flushed. Kyle couldn’t imagine being in one of those costume in summer.<br/>
With only Peter Pan clothes he already sweat gallons, in these he would fry.</p><p>He frowned at the man eating his ice-cream, properly savoring the cold by keeping it close to his face. With a look around Kyle decided he could steal more minutes for his break.<br/>
“You can’t take your head during your break?”</p><p>“I can. Only inside though, so the kids doesn’t see the dramatic truth,” he told with his lips splitting into a smile. They were red and wet from the ice-cream, but still a beautiful one.<br/>
It brought Kyle to not think too much of the giant head atop of it.</p><p>“Nobody goes around here, you could take it off,” he tried looking back at his half-full can. “It’s not like I would have anyone to tell about it.”</p><p>Stan’s slurp harshly stopped as if he almost sucked the whole thing in his mouth. Kyle pursed his lips at the stretching silence, not getting what he said that would shut his colleague down.</p><p>“Hum, no,” he finally articulated and with the head of his costume, he probably couldn’t seen his colleague’s frown.</p><p>“Why?” Kyle insisted, “I know you outside of this shithole?”</p><p>“<em>Shithole</em>?” He laughed, turning toward him half-way. It’s not like he could do much with his attire.</p><p>“Don’t tell me you like this place.”</p><p>“Meh,” Stan shrugged with a smile splattered on his face. He had slight dimples that made Kyle imagine if the rest of him was cute like that too. “The farm is nice? They could give bigger spaces for the animals but it’s nice.”</p><p>“You like animals, that’s not Disneyland,” he argued as his colleague took a bite of his ice-cream.</p><p>“Why did you take the job, then?”</p><p>“Why don’t you want to show your face?”</p><p>Goofy stayed creepily quiet and Kyle didn’t stare at the pinch Stan gave to his lips.<br/>
“I have blue hair.”</p><p>He frowned. “Blue?”</p><p>“The loser had to dye his hair,” Stan sighed as a hand flew inside his head. Kyle couldn’t be sure but thought he might be pinching the bridge of his nose. “They fucking <em>manhandled</em> him while Nichole and Bebe put it on me. My hair are already shitty and now they fucked it up worse, plus I look like shit with blue hair.”</p><p>Kyle stifled a small smile before leaning to try to have a view inside the head. Stan turned too fast for him to see anything useful other than red cheeks.</p><p>“That’s why I can’t see you?”</p><p>“You’re new and if you stay here I don’t want you to know me with that haircut.”</p><p>Kyle laughed, “okay.”</p><p>“Anyway," Stan cleared his throat and stumbled for a second when he tried to pass his ice cream in his other hand. "Why are you here if it sucks so bad?”</p><p>The redhead rolled his eyes and glanced at his can with disdain. He threw it in the trash.<br/>
“I didn't find any other job, any new one. I want to try stuff during university but this year I only had— <em>that</em>.”</p><p>“Dude, that sucks,” he agreed, “I only came back because I already knew stuff. Plus with Kenny it’s always funny.”</p><p>He offered an agreeing hum in return before seeing his green tight pants.<br/>
“What’s worse, your suit or mine?”</p><p>“Mine smells like vomit.”<br/>
Kyle grimaced and looked away.<br/>
“Not mine, but sometimes I really think I will throw up with the heat and the smell.”</p><p>“Okay, okay, you win.”</p><p>Stan laughed. Glancing one last time to his colleague, the redhead stood up.<br/>
“Better have to go before I’m too late. It was nice to know you <em>Goofy</em>.”</p><p>“Ha-ah, funny, Peter <em>tight</em> pants,” he taunted before falling quiet.</p><p>Kyle watched him getting the head properly back on, and if the heat wasn’t hitting that hard he could be sure if he had imagined the rush of blood on Stan’s face.<br/>
“What was that?” He muttered once he felt saliva back in his mouth.</p><p>“It’s not from me. Bebe started to say it first,” he rushed out. “I’m— I'm just too tired to think. And this heat makes me insane.”</p><p>He pursed his lips and tried to not cross his arms, instead he clenched his fists and hoped that it was anger flushing his face.<br/>
There was nothing creepier than Goofy staring in the void.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Uninteresting info, Mickey Mouse is my true nemesis; he appears way to much in my backstory.</p><p>I will go to Disneyland to stab his fucking ass, mark my words.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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